


Ghost Of You

by afezisred



Category: Dan Avidan - Fandom, Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom, Starbomb
Genre: 5SOS - Freeform, Angst, Breakup, Broken, Heartache, Reader Insert, Sad, afezisred, based off song, ghost of you, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 14:45:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15145436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afezisred/pseuds/afezisred
Summary: Dan left you, no explanation given. That was two weeks ago. Today would have been your two year anniversary and you are breaking down. (Inspired by Ghost Of You by 5 Seconds of Summer.)





	Ghost Of You

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello, welcome to my first one of these. I never write fanfiction (especially not self inserts) but 5sos’ new song broke my heart and the best way to show that is in fanfiction. I fully recommend listening to the song .Obv this is not meant to cause offence or anything. Anyway, I hope enjoy this maybe. I am new to this whole fanfiction so please let me know your thoughts.  
> This is also posted on my Tumblr so.

“I can’t (Y/N)” He said, “I just can’t do this anymore.”

You paused and looked at Dan, eyes wide with fear, “Can’t do what?”

He stared back, brown eyes begging you to take the hint. You had to look away. Looking at him would have made it worse. You had to hear him say it.

“Dan. What can’t you do anymore?” you almost whimper.

“I am sorry (Y/N) but I think we need to break up.”

—

That was two weeks ago. Today would have been your two-year anniversary, so much for celebrations.

It had been such a normal day. Nothing out of the ordinary. You were going to surprise him with some chicken fingers when he got back from the office, knowing it had been a busy day of recording. You had even planned to watch a film after. Even though Dan spent half an hour trying to decide, he always settled on the same film. It never had bothered you, his obsession with The Last Unicorn was something you love about him. Well … loved. Now even the thought of the film made you curl up into a ball.

He didn’t give an excuse, not really. He came home and you knew something was wrong. There was no shout of ‘I’m back baby’ or familiar grin on his face. You didn’t even hear him come in that day but he was there, face stern. You tried to touch him but he just stepped away. Within ten minutes it was over and you were left broken. He didn’t say much. It wasn’t an argument. It was nothing. Now you were nothing. Dan had taken everything from you without even an explanation.

You haven’t left your room. You didn’t want to. You had no reason to. Work called but you said you were sick. Family tried to come around but you told them you were too busy. Even Arin came to see you. Dan must have sent him with his old key. Seeing Arin made it worse. In the two years you had dated Dan, Arin had become a crucial part of your life. It was inevitable really; Dan and Arin came as a package. They did nearly everything together. Suzy had always joked that Arin loved Dan more than her and you always echoed her thoughts from Dan’s perspective. It is obvious now that Dan did love Arin more, he loved everyone more than you.

“(Y/N). Please get up. Or talk to someone. Or anything that isn’t this” Arin had said. You blinked at him and turned away. He stayed for an hour. He tried to get you to talk or wash or take off the oversized Starbomb shirt you were wearing but you just sat in silence. He left and took some clothes of Dan’s. He tried not to be obvious but you noticed. It was impossible not to notice. Since then he returned a few times to collect more of Dan’s belongings. Every time he visited, you died a little. He was slowly erasing Dan from your flat. The flat that Dan had once called home, that you had called home. Now it was just a house for you both.

Your phone buzzes to alert you that GameGrumps had just posted a new video. Nothing special, just the continuation of the Monster Prom series. You aren’t ready for that. Not yet. Hearing his voice would shatter you in ways that you could not even imagine. You know as soon as you hear his voice, you will break down again. The softness of it would bring back too many memories. The way he said your name, the way he sang to you while you cooked, the way he laughed when you told a stupid joke. Everything. You missed everything. GameGrumps would just remind you of that.

A second glance at your phone informs you that it is 6:00 in the morning. You suddenly become aware of the light forcing its way through the curtains. It rests on the empty half of your bed like some horrific reminder of his absence. On today of all days, nature decides to torture you. On what would have been your two years anniversary. You would have woken up to a kiss, followed by “Happy anniversary (Y/N).” You would have grinned and kissed him again, clutching onto his brown curls and refusing to let go. You probably would have fucked. Not that you would have complained. Then the day would begin and it would still be perfect. A normal perfect day. Sadly, it wouldn’t be like that. The sun is further forcing you to accept his absence, almost shoving it in your face.

Sleep isn’t an option, not anymore. You sit up and your body already aches. The room is a mess. It always had been but not in this way. After not leaving it for two weeks, rubbish has started to pile up. Empty bottles. Tissues. Boxes of food Arin had brought you. Beyond the new rubbish is the old rubbish. Some of Dan’s underwear. A screwed-up receipt for a Wendy’s you both went to. A Wishbone Ash top sits untouched in the corner. The last time he wore that had been a rough night. Dan had been stressed due to his workload. He was working on three albums and GameGrumps while arranging a nsp tour. You knew it would get on top of him at some point and it did. You came home from a meal with Suzy to find him sobbing on your bedroom floor. You dropped everything and ran over to him, heart in your throat.

“Why can’t I do this?” Dan had cried, “I need to write but I have no ideas. I am so useless (Y/N), I am just so useless.”

He broke your heart then as well, but in a different way. Nothing was worse than seeing him sad so you just held him as he cried. His shirt was damp from tears after ergo it was pulled off and thrown in the corner, where it was now. Part of you wants to pick it up. Part of you refuses to. You pick up a bottle and take a swig, wincing at the burn. It held intermate memories and touching it would make them even clearer in your head.

A sound cuts through your fixation on his shirt. A voice you know all too well fills the air. Someone is calling you. Likely your mum or Suzy, part of it hopes it is Dan. The ringtone carries on playing. It is from Under The Covers; Everybody Wants to Rule the World, your favourite cover he did. It was the first song he sang to you, a choice you never fully understood but did not complain about.

Your knees don’t buckle in sadness to the sound of his voice as expected. You just stand listening, bottle in hand. Maybe that makes you even more broken. After two more swigs, you start to sway. If you close your eyes, you could imagine Dan there with you. He would be using his hairbrush as a microphone and the bed as his stage. He would take your hand and you would join him, dancing. He would spin you around and then hold you close. Maybe even attempt to lift you up but, of course, that would only end with you collapsing on top of him. You would laugh and stare into his eyes “I love you Daniel Avidan.” He would smile back, “I love you too (Y/N)+(Y/L/N)”

The room goes silent again and you open your eyes. The room is empty. You are stood on the bed with a bottle in hand. Dan isn’t here at all. One more swig and you break, falling onto the bed. It is just you. Like it has been for two weeks. Like it will be forever.

“Happy anniversary Dan.”

**Author's Note:**

> (Thank you, I hope you liked it. IDK)


End file.
